How do the planets actually affect us?

How do the planets actually affect us?
For instance, we know that our moon influences tides via it's gravitational pull. The oceans closest to the Moon at any given time are "pulled" toward the Moon so this creates high tide. That pull is real. It's the effect of gravity and obviously it's been proven scientifically. So we are affected by the moon's gravity. But the moon is a moon, it's not a planet.

So what is it that effects us from planets? It is their surface gravitational pull (Jupiter is the strongest because it is the largest)? Their density (Saturn being the lightest)? Speed (Mercury is the fastest)? How many moons it has?

For instance, everyone is always talking about Saturn, it's such a "Strong" planet. So, what is it about Saturn exactly that effects us in so many ways?

If you compare it to Jupiter, who doesn't get quite as much attention, you will see that Jupiter is closer to earth, the largest planet, weighs more, has 39 moons (Sat has 33), etc.

In colloquial terms, Jupiter could whip Saturn's ***.

So what is it? What are the physical determining factors that the "personalities" of planets are based on?

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